Mors Vincit Omnia = Death Conquers All

Been very busy lately, haven't had time to write or post any of TCY's wonderful thoughts on the Christmas Season, or the many other holidays that take place in the month of December.  I did receive a few emails from TCY during my absence, so here is what he has to say.  I love that TCY is in the Christmas season.  Yes, I said Christmas season, not the Holiday season or even everyone's favorite X-Mas season.  Don't get me started on that again, I have been awake for 26 hours now.

Yesterday it was released from the Surgeon General that new studies have been made that show one cigarette can KILL you.  Studies show that the puff of a single cigarette can cause immediate damage to the lungs and change DNA leading to the dreaded C word....CANCER.  OH NO!!!  Well,  just when you thought things were as bad as they could get, I'm sorry to tell you but the Crankee himself has conducted a study.  The Crankee Yankee has found through extensive research that being born leads to death!

Yes, it's true!  I could not find one person in all of history that has survived life. Yes, there are those who have fought off the disease for many years but in the end, all have circum to the fatal life taking effects of life.  Even Christ himself did not make it out of having to experience death. He however was the only one strong enough to fight and conquer death and return from its grasp. I regret Crankee followers that entering into this Christmas season having to give you all the terrible truth that LIFE is a Fatal Disease! The good news is this. Excepting this truth gives you the freedom to enjoy LIFE!!!  Eat what you want!  Drink what you want!  And yes, my friends and the Surgeon General, SMOKE  What You Want!

Merry Christmas

TCY

Growing Old is Mandatory

     I positively, 100%, abso-freakin-lutely love it when TCY states something that you think, but you share with your significant other but never, ever share with the general public.  Yet here he goes, doing what he does best...bitchin and whining about something that most of us civilized people of society would never actually say out loud.  Yes, the majority of us think it, but none of us have the stones to say it, or the lack of brain power to say it. Check this shit out.

 

I had a thought while wondering around Wal-Mart this weekend. I had always thought that growing old would suck, but what I seen this week made me change my mind. Now this stuff happens all the time and I'm sure you've seen it but didn't pay much attention to it.

Old people have got it made!  Being Old is like having a license to do whatever you want to whoever you want and it's all for free.  Example, a little old lady is walking in the isle of Wal-Mart.  She doesn't look left or right as she comes out into the main isle running down the middle of the store.  Now if she hits you, she will look at you like you’re some kind of idiot for not having seen her in time for you to stop for her.  If you hit her.... brother you'd better run.   She will cut you 3 ways deep, wide and frequent with that little wrinkled up old mouth of hers.  She will call you anything but a child of God, and what can you do? NOTHING!!!  She's an old woman.  If you yell back you’re the ass, if you blame her, you’re the ass. It gets better.  Old people can and do use racial slurs, and what can you do? That's right, NOTHING!!  An old person can look you right in the face and call you the dreaded N word, or a Spic,  Jap, Heeb, Whop, Kike.  I think you get the picture. Then they can flip you off and walk away. They can call you an asshole tell you to fuck off, tell you you’re a jerk off or that you should have just been a cum stain.  And you can do nothing except take it.  If you turn on these older ass wipes the crowd will turn on you with everything they have including violence. Yes when you’re old you’re immune to all of society’s rules. You can fart in public, burp in restaurants, you can piss yourself and people will feel bad and help you into your clean shorts. You can go for days without a bath and no one will ever speak of how terrible you rank. Yes it's all true. I can't wait to get old. I want to see the looks on people’s faces when I try out my new found powers.

The trick is knowing when you’re old enough.  Too soon and you’re a dead mother... Try it out.  Dress like an old fart, go into Wal-Mart and try it. It’s better than cable TV

TCY....

I have to say that when I am a senior citizen, I will be one of those mean old men that does what he wants and still calls others an Asshole while I burp, fart and scratch myself all at the same time.  I don't know if I will go as far as to refer to people as they should have been just a cum stain but you never know.  The future is bright and unpredictable.  Maybe in 40 years when I am in my little rascal in a Super-Duper-MEGA Wal-mart('Cause we all know in the future, Wal-Mart will be running this country), running over little children, giving people the big long finger in the middle, and maybe...just maybe flashing a few people.  Will it be intentional or accidental, well it depends on what kind of mood I am in.   So with that being said, enjoy this nice little song from Dennis Leary, which sums up TCY when he is in his ripe old age.

Peyton Manning, You're My Hero.

     I'm not much of a football fan. I don't mind watching it.  Used to like to even play it, but I don't revolve my weekend around any game.  But TCY lives and breathes football.   If anyone actually engages in a conversation with TCY about football, they will find out quickly that he absolutely loves Peyton Manning.  Yeah, he loves him so much, TCY will be the one to dig the hole out in the Pine Barrens so that he is never heard from again.  TCY is an Anti-Manning Lover!!!

I think I found this sign in his man cave.



Last night was one of the best Monday night football games for me that I've had in a while. HOW BOUT THOSE PATS!!!!!!! Even coach Ryan had to admit it was a thorough ass whooping. Ladainian Tomlinson, eat it boy! If you hated the Pats while you were in San Diego, you must really hate em now that you play for the Jets.

I must admit I was concerned going into this game; the Jets are a much-improved team and still may end up with the AFC east. As for now however, the pendulum is definitely swinging with the Pats. I have a bar I built with a Patriot motif.  I’m hoping to have another Super Bowl pennant to hang in there. I fully understand that most people are tired of the Patriots; I felt the same about the damn 49ers. If I had to hear Montana to Rice one more time I would have jumped right off the roof. I sure you all are sick of Brady to Welker, but it sounds like sweet music in my ears. Play that funky music white boy!

Yeah you'd be in your 40's to understand that last sentence. I hoping to end up with 5 Super Bowls before Brady retires. I realize this isn't what most of you are looking at this website to read but give me one day to gloat. Oh and while I'm at it. Peyton Manning has very quietly lost the last 3 games for his team by throwing the ball into the arms of the opposition an unbelievable amount of times.  Very few people are saying the truth, Peyton lost the game, not the Colts. I can't stand being force fed a continuous diet of Manning. They aren't that good. Especially Archie and that little troll Eli; does anyone know who his real dad is?

I am sick of hearing the man crushes on Peyton. Let's face it, he runs up his numbers in what could be the weakest division in the AFC. He is good but not as great as these man crushers would have you believe. The Colts don't play anyone. Peyton Manning is taking on the Titans this week.  if I were on the Colts, I'd sack him myself just to remind him that there are 10 other players out there.

Well, thanks why I'm The Crankee Yankee, even when I'm happy I find something to go off on.

-Thanks

TCY.

Be A Caveman!!!

Football season just brings out the warm loving side of TCY.  It shows he has a caring and nurturing side of him that not many people ever get to see. Let's see what you think...

The NFL is starting to go the way of the rest of the country. First it was wear pink to support breast cancer. Now it's stop hitting so hard. Really? We as men in this country are going to stand by and watch them turn the NFL into Fag football?  I mean Flag Football. No!  Hell No!!!  I did mean Fag football. This week was riddled with terrible calls telling 258 lb men to stop hitting so hard. WTF?!?!  All of their lives they have been taught to hit hard, hit often and inflict pain on the poor individual that has the balls of invading your space.  2010, we are telling some of the toughest players the sport has ever known to play nice, don’t get hurt, hold hands and sing Sunshine on My Damn Shoulders.  We have ladies on the sidelines telling us things about our sport that most of them don't understand. At first they were all good looking so we quietly accepted this. This week I seen a giblet jawed 40-something female on the sidelines giving her 2 cents on what the boys were doing on the field.  How would women like it if we started putting ugly guys in soap opera’s?  Women, really is this what you want, feminized men?  

 NFL = NO FUCKING LADIES

Suppose the world went under a nuclear war tomorrow and all the people of the world became tribal.

·        Would you want a feminized man to protect you or a fuckin beast of a man?

·        Would you rather be caressed and gently laid in the bed and softly have love made to you?

·        OR would you rather be ravaged, thrown into the bed and have your world rocked!!! Your right:  ROCK ON BABY!!

And if this world goes medieval again, and it will, no woman is going to be looking for DR. Phil to help her. She'll be looking for THOR. But where will all the Thors be? This country in turning all the Thor's into Pansy-Asses, sensitive,Fem-Men. That's right FEM_MEN!

Let men be men and weed out the weak. If you’re afraid to get hurt, stay home! Nature does this all the time, it's called survival. Only the strong survive, and only the strong pass on genes to the next generation. In Nature, if the weak and sick got to mate, it would doom the species. Are we doomed yet? Pretty damn near!

Be a caveman!  The women say they don't like it but they lie... look at biker chicks. They're hot, little, young things hanging out with older, ugly, smelly, disgusting men. Why? Because they're MEN!!

So be a FEM-MAN and end up with sweet Poly Pure Bread who will nag you to your deathbed or be a CAVEMAN and get a hottie who will serve your every need.

-Fight Back!!

TCY

Merry F@ckin Christmas!!!

   
     Well, I was in a pretty good mood until I received TCY's part for this entry.  I haven't really thought about Christmas this year yet.  I just got over Thanksgiving and don't have my tree up yet so the Christmas spirit is not showing.  But after reading what TCY has to say, I am glad to say that my blood pressure is only slightly elevated and can't wait for some poor bastard to catch me on a bad day and say Happy Holidays!

   The Crankee Yankee says...

     Did you all make it through the Black Friday events?  Every year you hear horror stories of kind, warm-hearted people going to the store to get a loved one a Christmas gift to celebrate the birth of our Savior, the Son of the most high GOD, by kicking the living shit out of the next kind-hearted individual trying to get the same heartfelt gift.
Damn it man! Really!?!  Do people ever think things through? Their actions are completely contrary to the thoughts that brought them into the damn store to begin with. I think instead of handing out coupons or numbers for the privilege of buying some item that no one actually needs, we should have .......Holiday smack down!  Yes, yes!  Gather around people, we will be having a smack down free-for-all.  The last 10 people standing will receive one of only 10,000 Obama Chia Heads! The runner-ups can buy a Pelosi doll.
Hell, I would buy tickets to see the inbred S.O.B. that would take part in that.
There could be Death Matches for big items like 40" plasma TV's with a blue ray player.

     Please remind yourself of the meaning of the season.  If you really want to fight,  go to a store that has Merry XXX-Mas.  Now that's enough to get me to fight! They actually X out the name of Christ out of Christmas. Without the Christ where is the celebration?  Don't let them get away turning one of the most Holy holiday of the Christian faith into a winter fest or just a happy holiday.  NO!!  It is neither and it is damn sure not KWANZAA!!!!!
This my friends is something to fight over. My kids will give Christmas Cards, not holiday greeting cards. We will have Christmas parties not winter festivals.

Merry Christmas and fight back!!
TCY.

        The one thing that makes me want to bitch slap someone during the CHRISTMAS holiday,  is when they want to take out the word Christmas and put in Holiday.  Yes, Christmas is a holiday.  Christmas celebrates the birth of CHRIST.  Why does everyone want to change Christmas to other things.  That is what it is, Christmas plain and simple.  Do I try to change Halloween to Happy Holidays because there are some other holidays in October? Besides Halloween, did you know that October is also American Pharmacist Month?  It's also National Diabetes Month, yeah go and look it up.  It is also National Vegetarian Month, but don't get me started on that shit right now.  So with all this going on in October, should I say on October 31st, Hey, Happy Holidays?  Hell no, you say Happy Halloween and in December, you say Merry Fuckin Christmas.  Except if you are Jewish, than it is Happy Hanukkah.

To end this entry, here are two of my favorite Christmas quotes:

• The Supreme Court has ruled that they cannot have a nativity scene in Washington, D.C. This wasn't for any religious reasons. They couldn't find three wise men and a virgin.
• Can I refill your eggnog for you? Get you something to eat? Drive you out in the middle of nowhere and leave you for the dead?"

And my favorite one: --> Santa is very jolly because he knows where all the bad girls live.