I love Friday's. Good time to hear TCY's stories, which may seem outlandish for the regular mild mannered human but for TCY, it's a regular part of life.
Have you ever had an in-law live with you? Well, I had a mother-in-law stay with me for awhile. Now, I’ve always tried to be a nice guy whenever possible. My mother-in-law came to me weighing in at about 270lbs, she stood about 5’7” which means she was as tall as she was round. The amount of pills this woman took would fill most people up. It could actually count as one of the 3 meals for a day. So I decided that I would help this woman loose weight, after all I was the one feeding her. I offered up several different diet plans including the Just Shut Your Fuckin Mouth Method You Cow! I guess after all the ribbing, she came around and started eating smaller portions. We were able to put the serving platter away in reserve for the holidays and she started eating out of a small dessert dish. I thought for sure she would start loosing weight like crazy. Unfortunately this did not happen. I began to see strange things. I saw fork marks in the ice cream. I asked about the strange finding and my bubble-butted in-law told me she thought it was one of the boys. So I went to the boys and told them that this was disgusting and to never do it again. They swore they hadn’t done it. Of course, boys always say they didn’t do it, no matter what. I had to apologize to those boys because two weeks later I awoke in the middle of the night and needed a drink of water. I went into the kitchen and when I flipped on the light, what did my wondrous eyes see? 270 LBS OF ASS sticking out of the refrigerator! The porky bitch nearly busted her head trying to get her face out of the leftovers. I was shocked. I yelled, “THAT’S IT!! THAT’S WHY YOU’RE NOT LOOSING WEIGHT! YOU’RE A FUCKIN COCKA-ROACH! YOU COME OUT TO FEED AT NIGHT, JUST LIKE A COCKA-ROACH!!!! The wife woke up and ran to see what was going on and told her,”YOUR MOTHER’S A COCKA-ROACH!!! And I think SHE’S FORKING THE ICE CREAM TOO!!!
I will share more stories later.
-TCY
I love when Northern Yankee men get upset about something when they are not expecting it. Sort of like when Tony Soprano flips shit over something stupid but the only difference is TCY doesn't carry a concealed weapons...I think. You know the look, they turn red in the face, that vein on their neck or the one on the forehead starts to stick out, the heavy breathing kicks in and soon enough something gets thrown. I am also pretty sure TCY doesn't have the connections to make someone disappear with one phone call, but then again he is from the land of the Yankee's and we all know that all Yankee's are in the mob.
4 comments:
oh ya and I'm a yankee to
Well, I thought all truck drivers were dangerous? Have you ever met a truck driver? Big, scary, mean and some not too bright! HaHaHa
As for all yankee men being Italian, only the good ones are.
Most stereo types come from some truth.
I know plenty of truck drivers and no I don't trust any of them. Scary, hell go to a truck stop and look at them waiting on showers. I saw one that was dragging his.. hers.. (it's?) knuckles. And hairy? DAMN there was more hair than a gorilla, and the smell. I wont even go there.. The only group of people that could be worse than truckers are those damn bikers. Not just the ones that live the life but the weekend warriors too.. The ones with a "professional" job, where they ride their bikes with all the dumb cargo boxes, on them. JUST damn!! If you need to carry that much crap on a bike GET IN YOUR MINI VAN and move your shit!!
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