Touching Sensitive Areas since 2001

 

    I've been wanting to write something about the TSA since last week, but wanted to get TCY's input first.  Here ya go:

I knew one day there would be government-sponsored whorehouses, and just like the government, they screw that up too.

Well, it's happened!  The TSA is the government whorehouse.  They'll feel you up, give you a reach around, they'll tickle your taint but the one thing they won't do is give you a happy ending.

Now I wonder, if while getting groped, what if you developed a woody?  Would that be considered a dangerous weapon and cause you to be removed from the plane?

And if I have to be felt up to get on a plane, I would request a line up of potential gropers. I'm just saying give us a choice of around 6 different young ladies so that we can get the feel like we actually have some kind of control over our bodies.

I believe if this is done right, America would soon come to accept this form of security and I can even see the airlines business picking up.  This could actually be the come back for Hooters airline; security would be the fluffers for the Hooter stewardess. OH YEAH! I'm onto something here!

• Penthouse airlines - The Stiffest Flight of Your Lives…
• Playboy airlines - Cum With Us and Fly....

But like I said, leave it to the government to Fuck Up a Whorehouse like TSA. Which apparently stands for Tits, Sack and Ass. That’s all they seem to be concerned with lately.

Fight Back!

-TCY 

I knew the TCY would pull through.  Here are some funny lines a friend sent me that the TSA could use as slogans:

• Can’t see London, Can’t See France,Unless We See Your Underpants.
• Grope Discounts Available
• If we did out job any better, we’d have to buy you dinner first!
• Only we know if Lady Gaga is really a lady.
• Don’t worry, my hands are still warm from the last guy
• Wanna fly? Drop your fly!
• We’ve handled more balls than Barney Frank
• We are now free to move about your pants
• We rub you the wrong way, so you can be on your way
• It’s not a grope.  It’s a freedom pat.
• When in doubt, we make you whip it out.
• TSA: Touchin’, Squeezin’, Arrestin’
• YOU were a virgin!

• We handle more packages than the USPS.

To me this seems a bit extreme.  Yes, I am all for defending our country from terrorists but come on! Is it really necessary to shove your finger up an 8 yr old ass because he might have a fuse up there?  If this is the best our government can come up with, then we are fucked!  I know this is not what some people want to hear and I apologize for all my Allah worshiping friends but maybe we should start profiling at the airport? If I am a TSA extraordinaire and I see grandma, a 20 yr old co-ed, a couple of beer-bellied douche bags and a turban wearing dude...guess who I am going to check to see if there are dangerous contraband strapped under their balls?

          Profiling has been used before in the U.S.  Remember Pearl Harbor???  The Attorney General in 1942 had said that the presence of Japanese in California provided the opportunity for a repetition of Pearl Harbor.  The Attorney General also was all for the exclusion of all Japanese from within 200 miles of the California coast.  The Supreme Court had ruled that in time of war, the U.S. Government can act on justified racial discrimination in the name of national security.  National Security.  That is the one thing they can use to get away with anything.  Excuse miss, we need to search your bra in the name of National Security.  That is what it comes down to.  How creative can our government get in using the phrase "OF NATIONAL SECURITY?"