Wal-Mart, Aunt Flow and TCY

     To think that sometimes TCY possibly gets himself into situations that causes his internal TCY to come out.  This story you are about to read, could have gone off without a hitch.  He could have just went into the store, got what he needed and exited, but that inner TCY had to come out, if just to say something to the cashier.  Thank God he didn't say anything to the lady behind him, or we might have seen him on the local news. 

The headline would read: "Local Senior dies from heart attack - Scared shit less from Mean Scary Yankee!"



OK, I have to vent on a pet peeve I have.  Last week my old lady asked me to go to the store to get a box of tampons, AGAIN!!!  She always uses the same excuse, "I forgot to get them.”  Now people, women are the only creatures that God created that bleeds for 3-5 days every month. What animal do you know that could bleed for 3-5 days and still live!!  That being said, if I knew that I bled every month, I don't think that would be something I would forget. It's embarrassing she said to pick up tampons. Well, I'm all choked up that you may be embarrassed. Men don't ask women to pick up condoms. Damn it man.

Well, getting back to the story. So Sunday morning I go to, you guessed it, Wal-Mart, to get the damn tampons.  I get 1 40-count box of Kotex super absorbent pussy plugs. I then proceed to the check out counter where a sweet young lady is waiting to check me out.  She asked me, "And how are you today sir?"  I couldn't help it, I picked up the box of feminine first aid and raised it eye level.

“This is how I am!” I exclaimed. “I'm in Wal-Mart on a Sunday morning and the only thing I have on the counter is tampons!! How do you think I am? You know one thing for certain, I won't be having sex today now will I? I won't be going home to anyone in a good mood will I? Funny thing when people bleed for any reason they aren't much in the mood for fun and games now are they? How am I? I'm just fine and how are you? Do you need of one of these?”

The girls mouth fell open so far I thought she would hit her chin on the counter. I felt bad, but I couldn't help it. I kept on. “I don't even know if I have the right size in these damn things. Is there a condom to tampon conversion chart I could check?”  (I stole that from 2 ½ Men, great show). “What about flavor?  Do they come in different flavors? I like tooty fruity.”  She finally started laughing and told me to have a nice day.  I turn and said,  “Let's not start that again.”  She laughed until I went to far and asked her what she was doing later; obviously this is no day to hang around my house.

 I had fun though and the best part of the whole thing was the old women behind me in line, all dressed up nice for Sunday services. She never said a word as she went to another check out lane.

Life is short have fun

TCY.

      I can fully understand having to go into a grocery store on the weekend, especially Wal-Mart.  I try to avoid stores all together on the weekend.  But having to go into Wal-Mart, on the weekend, to buy some coochie corks would make anyone grumpy.  But most people would keep their mouth shut and get it over with as fast as possible.  But of course, TCY is not just anyone and having him keep his trap shut is as hard as getting peace in the Middle East.

So what would TCY say to this while waiting in line at Wal-Mart???