Tis My Season to Be Jolly

     So, today is Christmas Eve.  I have nothing bad to say about anyone and TCY himself is on a nice vacation for a few days away from stress, well away from stress at work anyways.  I just wanted to wish everyone, yes everyone, a Merry Christmas. Even all those douche bags who piss me off on a daily basis.  It's not their fault they are douche bags, they were just born that way.  Well, most of them were. Actually, the ones that know they are douche bags, they can just kiss my ass.
       For all you Christians out there - MERRY CHRISTMAS!  For all my Jews out there - HAPPY HANUKKAH!  For all the Atheist's out there - well, you will see one day.  And if you are one of those hypocritical Atheists - FUCK YOU!!!  If you have a Christmas tree up or stockings hanging over your fireplace or expect presents for a holiday that you don't believe in the meaning of then just take your hypocritical, fraudulent, phony, faithless lying ass and throw it in front of the big red sleigh with the jolly ole fat man driving it.
      This was going to be a nice Have a Merry Christmas post but then I started typing it and thought about those two-faced bastards out there who say there is no God or they don't believe in God but still put up Christmas trees, oops I mean X-mas trees and give and receive presents.

If I ever saw someone wearing this as a shirt, I would kick them in their nuts so hard, they would be singing soprano permanently. 

       Since I am a Rock Worshipper and it is the Season, I figured I would end this post on a positive note with a video I found that I thought anyone who likes Christmas Music and Electric Guitars would enjoy.  I found my favorite Christmas song, Carol of the Bells played along by a nice Ibanez(just so happens it is my favorite guitar also!). Enjoy and Merry Christmas to all those who actually know why we celebrate Christmas.



What's the Greatest Nation in the world??? DONation!

I hate when TCY has a good point.  Sometimes it drives me nuts to agree with him but I have to agree on this.  Read first, then I will comment.

Sometimes I feel like a dinosaur.  It seems to me more and more everyday that the world I was born into has went away and the world I'm in now isn't even a shadow of the one I find myself missing.

I was listening to one of the thousand toy drives for foster children that goes on during the Christmas season.  I could hardly believe my ears. The host of this drive said that you pick a child and you get a list of 3 toys that the child wants and you go into the store and buy all 3 items.  Now forgive me if I'm wrong but isn't it the thought and not the gift?  When exactly did Christmas become the time of year when you get precisely what you want?

We in the past have asked our children what do you want Santa to bring you to get an idea of what they might like, not to get a list that must be matched to the letter.  If I were to give to a toy drive, I'm buying what I want.  I'm not letting someone tell me "you must buy this item"!  Excuse me but Fuck That!  My wife tried this the other day.  We're shopping for a child that doesn't even talk yet, a baby, and my wife tells me we HAVE to get this item because that is what the MOTHER says her child would like. WHAT!!  This kid doesn't even talk.  I could give this kid cardboard and it would be happy but the MOOOTHERRR....say's the kid needs a 30.00 dollar toy. This is not the spirit of giving; this is the spirit of pick pocketing.  I will not be forced to buy a Christmas GIFT!!  GIFT people, do you understand the concept of GIFT?!?

I learned this important lesson when I was small, and I remember it like it was yesterday.  It was Christmas Eve and my Uncle had come over to give my brother and me a gift.  I opened mine first.  It was a Lincoln Log set.  My brother was next.  He opened a beautiful toy gun set.  I looked at the gun set with envy and opened my mouth saying "OH. You got a better gift than me!"  Before I got the me out of my mouth my mother had applied a right cross that would have made Tyson proud!  I made my parents embarrassed.  I embarrassed myself and my uncle.  I learned, as the swelling went down, that it was the thought not the gift.

Maybe it's way past overdue for a couple of kids to get the right cross? I’m just saying.

Grown-ups also need to learn this.  I have been asked this year by a couple of people what I want for Christmas.  My answer is true to the heart when I say, PEACE. Think about it. Your entire day is spent fighting something or someone for something. You fight at work, either to get your job done or to try to move up.  Hell, sometimes just to be heard!  You fight at home for the kids to listen, the wife to listen, the fuckin dog to listen.  You fight for parking spots!  You fight to pay bills, which is becoming a fight which is harder and harder to win these days. Wouldn't it be nice if someone could give you the gift of peace?

My gift to all of you this Christmas is to remind you that there is one who gives the gift of peace. Jesus.  He said, "My peace I give you.”  My wish is that you all experience this year, the peace of the Lord.  It is true when you hear Jesus is the reason for the season.

Merry Christmas

TCY

Ok, I have to agree with TCY about the donation part.  A donation, according to Webster is:

Definition of DONATION

: the act or an instance of donating: as

a : the making of a gift especially to a charity or public institution

b : a free contribution : gift

See that part above? It says, wait, let me make it bigger...It says a free contribution: gift. It doesn't say a specific gift, or only if the receiver really wants it.  It just says a gift, the act of donating, the making of a gift especially to a charity.  If I was going to donate to a charity and the charity asked for specific toys for children, say a 500 piece Star Wars Death Star Lego Set, then they would get a bag filled with coal as a donation.  Wait, fuck that.  Coal is too expensive.  They would get a bag full of clay, not dirt but clay.  Dirt is hard to come by in the south, but there is plenty of clay! 


"Why is Christmas just like a day at the office? You do all the work and the fat guy with the suit gets all the credit."
Anonymous

     Figured you might like this one TCY, enjoy! With the problems we have over-seas and worrying about terrorists and bombings and all that wonderful cheerful crap, I think the best way to deal with it is by joking and making fun of it.  If you take all the problems too serious, you will end up snapping, jumping off a bridge or throwing someone off a bridge.  Let's not talk about that now, don't want to give anyone any ideas, let's wait until after New Year's and then plant that seed in a few people's heads.  So enjoy and don't get offended by this.  It is all in fun and laughter, so lighten up, laugh and enjoy.  I know I did. 

Mors Vincit Omnia = Death Conquers All

Been very busy lately, haven't had time to write or post any of TCY's wonderful thoughts on the Christmas Season, or the many other holidays that take place in the month of December.  I did receive a few emails from TCY during my absence, so here is what he has to say.  I love that TCY is in the Christmas season.  Yes, I said Christmas season, not the Holiday season or even everyone's favorite X-Mas season.  Don't get me started on that again, I have been awake for 26 hours now.

Yesterday it was released from the Surgeon General that new studies have been made that show one cigarette can KILL you.  Studies show that the puff of a single cigarette can cause immediate damage to the lungs and change DNA leading to the dreaded C word....CANCER.  OH NO!!!  Well,  just when you thought things were as bad as they could get, I'm sorry to tell you but the Crankee himself has conducted a study.  The Crankee Yankee has found through extensive research that being born leads to death!

Yes, it's true!  I could not find one person in all of history that has survived life. Yes, there are those who have fought off the disease for many years but in the end, all have circum to the fatal life taking effects of life.  Even Christ himself did not make it out of having to experience death. He however was the only one strong enough to fight and conquer death and return from its grasp. I regret Crankee followers that entering into this Christmas season having to give you all the terrible truth that LIFE is a Fatal Disease! The good news is this. Excepting this truth gives you the freedom to enjoy LIFE!!!  Eat what you want!  Drink what you want!  And yes, my friends and the Surgeon General, SMOKE  What You Want!

Merry Christmas

TCY

Merry F@ckin Christmas!!!

   
     Well, I was in a pretty good mood until I received TCY's part for this entry.  I haven't really thought about Christmas this year yet.  I just got over Thanksgiving and don't have my tree up yet so the Christmas spirit is not showing.  But after reading what TCY has to say, I am glad to say that my blood pressure is only slightly elevated and can't wait for some poor bastard to catch me on a bad day and say Happy Holidays!

   The Crankee Yankee says...

     Did you all make it through the Black Friday events?  Every year you hear horror stories of kind, warm-hearted people going to the store to get a loved one a Christmas gift to celebrate the birth of our Savior, the Son of the most high GOD, by kicking the living shit out of the next kind-hearted individual trying to get the same heartfelt gift.
Damn it man! Really!?!  Do people ever think things through? Their actions are completely contrary to the thoughts that brought them into the damn store to begin with. I think instead of handing out coupons or numbers for the privilege of buying some item that no one actually needs, we should have .......Holiday smack down!  Yes, yes!  Gather around people, we will be having a smack down free-for-all.  The last 10 people standing will receive one of only 10,000 Obama Chia Heads! The runner-ups can buy a Pelosi doll.
Hell, I would buy tickets to see the inbred S.O.B. that would take part in that.
There could be Death Matches for big items like 40" plasma TV's with a blue ray player.

     Please remind yourself of the meaning of the season.  If you really want to fight,  go to a store that has Merry XXX-Mas.  Now that's enough to get me to fight! They actually X out the name of Christ out of Christmas. Without the Christ where is the celebration?  Don't let them get away turning one of the most Holy holiday of the Christian faith into a winter fest or just a happy holiday.  NO!!  It is neither and it is damn sure not KWANZAA!!!!!
This my friends is something to fight over. My kids will give Christmas Cards, not holiday greeting cards. We will have Christmas parties not winter festivals.

Merry Christmas and fight back!!
TCY.

        The one thing that makes me want to bitch slap someone during the CHRISTMAS holiday,  is when they want to take out the word Christmas and put in Holiday.  Yes, Christmas is a holiday.  Christmas celebrates the birth of CHRIST.  Why does everyone want to change Christmas to other things.  That is what it is, Christmas plain and simple.  Do I try to change Halloween to Happy Holidays because there are some other holidays in October? Besides Halloween, did you know that October is also American Pharmacist Month?  It's also National Diabetes Month, yeah go and look it up.  It is also National Vegetarian Month, but don't get me started on that shit right now.  So with all this going on in October, should I say on October 31st, Hey, Happy Holidays?  Hell no, you say Happy Halloween and in December, you say Merry Fuckin Christmas.  Except if you are Jewish, than it is Happy Hanukkah.

To end this entry, here are two of my favorite Christmas quotes:

• The Supreme Court has ruled that they cannot have a nativity scene in Washington, D.C. This wasn't for any religious reasons. They couldn't find three wise men and a virgin.
• Can I refill your eggnog for you? Get you something to eat? Drive you out in the middle of nowhere and leave you for the dead?"

And my favorite one: --> Santa is very jolly because he knows where all the bad girls live.