Quote of the Year!

This is an actual quote! I have witnesses who can vouch for me.


And I quote...

"When that bitch is gone, they're gonna have to glue a frown on me!"

If I had a recorder on me today, this page would have been totally full!!!  He was on a roll today people. 

Damn, I Want Some Good Passat!!!

 
   Just to start this off, anyone who works with me, will know exactly what the title means and should look at the picture at the very bottom!  This one's for you Grizzly!  Anyway, I received this email a few days ago.  It was funny but I was not convinced it was true or accurate.  I did some research about it, since it was a "scientific study" but found it that it is all just based on stereotypes.

What Do People Fear the Most?

 

WHAT DO PEOPLE FEAR MOST?
This is pathetic, but darn funny when you think about it for a second.
Two magazines, Country Living (95.99% white readership) and Ebony /Jet (99.99% black readership) did surveys on....
"WHAT DO PEOPLE FEAR MOST?"

The results were interesting, to say the least....

Country Living magazine's top three answers were:
1. Nuclear war/terrorist attack in U.S
2. Child/spouse dying
3. Terminal illness
Ebony / Jet magazine's top three answers were:
1. Ghosts
2. Dogs
3. Registered mail
No Kidding... And these are the people who put Obama over the top; what would you expect?
AND TO GO ALONG WITH ALL OF THIS, I'LL SHARE TWO QUOTES; ONE PITIFUL AND ONE GREAT!
"My friends, we live in the greatest nation in the history of the world. I hope you'll join with me, as we change it."-- Barack Obama
''Life's tough, pilgrim, and it's even tougher if you're stupid.'' John Wayne
Read on!!!!
Professor Joseph Olson of Hamline University School of Law in St. Paul, Minnesota , points out some interesting facts concerning November's Presidential election:

• Number of States won by: Obama:19  - McCain: 29
• Square miles of land won by: Obama:580,000  - McCain: 2,427,000
• Population of counties won by: Obama:127 million  - McCain: 143 million
• Murder rate per 100,000 residents in counties won by: Obama:13.2 - McCain: 2.1

Professor Olson adds: "In aggregate, the map of the territory McCain won was mostly the land owned by the taxpaying citizens of the country.
Obama territory mostly encompassed those citizens living in low income tenements and living off various forms of government welfare..."
Olson believes the United States is now somewhere between the "complacency and apathy" phase of Professor Tyler's definition of democracy, with some forty percent of the nation's population already having reached the "governmental dependency" phase.
If Congress grants amnesty and citizenship to twenty million criminal invaders called illegals - and they vote - then we can say goodbye to the USA in fewer than five years.

Here is a link to the website that has some info on this supposed survey.   What People Fear the Most.
Now, TCY has something to say also.  

To go along with the email I above, let me add some of my fears.

1. I fear small guys with big mouths. You know the littlest bastard in the bar that comes up to the biggest baddest mother in the place and talks shit. Why do I fear this, because you can't win. If you sweep the floor with this guy, it looks as though your picking on a little dude and there is no honor to be won. If you let the little fuck get away with talking to you like a bitch, then a bitch you are.

The answer is let the little shit have the first, second and third swings (not hits) then mail him home to his loved ones.

2. I fear stupidity. It is a growing problem that the article states wonderfully. The schools are dumbing down our children. No one is allowed to be brighter than the slowest, most oxygen deprived, in-bred little retard in the class. They don't teach history correctly. They don't teach anything about the founders of this nation except they owned slaves. They do however teach them how to get a voting card. Now that's scary. Ask someone what the federalist papers are, who wrote them, what's the bill of rights? silence.......

3. I fear the effects of aging. Not aging, just the effects. I fear not being able to defend myself in a good knock down drag out with some young punk who still shits yellow. I dread the morning when my dick won't come out of hiding and I piss on my balls. I fear having a shot at some young strange and bo-bo and the twins won't be up to the task.

4. I fear finally getting to 65 yrs and retire only to find that this would be the year that Social Security finally dies.

It would be a good thing at the wrong time.

Just for you TCY.  6 Swedish Virgins.

5. Lastly, I fear getting to heaven and finding that the Muslims were right.  I could have had 40 virgins, and non- Arab virgins at that!  They were all Swedish.



Fight Back

TCY

   

    I have to say that I do not know why anyone would be excited for 40 virgins.  Seriously, just think about it.  40 women who know nothing about sex!  No technique, no clue on what feels good, what men like , or what you should watch out for.  Let's keep this sort of clean here.  40 virgins who have no experience in, uhhh how should I say it, oral pleasure.  I don't know about TCY, but teeth hurt down there!  Maybe TCY likes a cold, inexperienced,  fish laying there, but I am for equal opportunity.  I work hard and she works hard.  If you got to do all the work, it is not as fun.  Just how my brain thinks.  


Hey Outlaw, is this Gay enough for you??? The one and only...PINK PASSAT!!

    

What's the Greatest Nation in the world??? DONation!

I hate when TCY has a good point.  Sometimes it drives me nuts to agree with him but I have to agree on this.  Read first, then I will comment.

Sometimes I feel like a dinosaur.  It seems to me more and more everyday that the world I was born into has went away and the world I'm in now isn't even a shadow of the one I find myself missing.

I was listening to one of the thousand toy drives for foster children that goes on during the Christmas season.  I could hardly believe my ears. The host of this drive said that you pick a child and you get a list of 3 toys that the child wants and you go into the store and buy all 3 items.  Now forgive me if I'm wrong but isn't it the thought and not the gift?  When exactly did Christmas become the time of year when you get precisely what you want?

We in the past have asked our children what do you want Santa to bring you to get an idea of what they might like, not to get a list that must be matched to the letter.  If I were to give to a toy drive, I'm buying what I want.  I'm not letting someone tell me "you must buy this item"!  Excuse me but Fuck That!  My wife tried this the other day.  We're shopping for a child that doesn't even talk yet, a baby, and my wife tells me we HAVE to get this item because that is what the MOTHER says her child would like. WHAT!!  This kid doesn't even talk.  I could give this kid cardboard and it would be happy but the MOOOTHERRR....say's the kid needs a 30.00 dollar toy. This is not the spirit of giving; this is the spirit of pick pocketing.  I will not be forced to buy a Christmas GIFT!!  GIFT people, do you understand the concept of GIFT?!?

I learned this important lesson when I was small, and I remember it like it was yesterday.  It was Christmas Eve and my Uncle had come over to give my brother and me a gift.  I opened mine first.  It was a Lincoln Log set.  My brother was next.  He opened a beautiful toy gun set.  I looked at the gun set with envy and opened my mouth saying "OH. You got a better gift than me!"  Before I got the me out of my mouth my mother had applied a right cross that would have made Tyson proud!  I made my parents embarrassed.  I embarrassed myself and my uncle.  I learned, as the swelling went down, that it was the thought not the gift.

Maybe it's way past overdue for a couple of kids to get the right cross? I’m just saying.

Grown-ups also need to learn this.  I have been asked this year by a couple of people what I want for Christmas.  My answer is true to the heart when I say, PEACE. Think about it. Your entire day is spent fighting something or someone for something. You fight at work, either to get your job done or to try to move up.  Hell, sometimes just to be heard!  You fight at home for the kids to listen, the wife to listen, the fuckin dog to listen.  You fight for parking spots!  You fight to pay bills, which is becoming a fight which is harder and harder to win these days. Wouldn't it be nice if someone could give you the gift of peace?

My gift to all of you this Christmas is to remind you that there is one who gives the gift of peace. Jesus.  He said, "My peace I give you.”  My wish is that you all experience this year, the peace of the Lord.  It is true when you hear Jesus is the reason for the season.

Merry Christmas

TCY

Ok, I have to agree with TCY about the donation part.  A donation, according to Webster is:

Definition of DONATION

: the act or an instance of donating: as

a : the making of a gift especially to a charity or public institution

b : a free contribution : gift

See that part above? It says, wait, let me make it bigger...It says a free contribution: gift. It doesn't say a specific gift, or only if the receiver really wants it.  It just says a gift, the act of donating, the making of a gift especially to a charity.  If I was going to donate to a charity and the charity asked for specific toys for children, say a 500 piece Star Wars Death Star Lego Set, then they would get a bag filled with coal as a donation.  Wait, fuck that.  Coal is too expensive.  They would get a bag full of clay, not dirt but clay.  Dirt is hard to come by in the south, but there is plenty of clay! 


"Why is Christmas just like a day at the office? You do all the work and the fat guy with the suit gets all the credit."
Anonymous

     Figured you might like this one TCY, enjoy! With the problems we have over-seas and worrying about terrorists and bombings and all that wonderful cheerful crap, I think the best way to deal with it is by joking and making fun of it.  If you take all the problems too serious, you will end up snapping, jumping off a bridge or throwing someone off a bridge.  Let's not talk about that now, don't want to give anyone any ideas, let's wait until after New Year's and then plant that seed in a few people's heads.  So enjoy and don't get offended by this.  It is all in fun and laughter, so lighten up, laugh and enjoy.  I know I did. 

R.I.P.

Well, TCY has finally shocked me.  I knew he has some distorted views that didn't quite match up with the rest of society but after reading this and hearing parts of it a few times before, I have to say I don't see eye to eye with him, I don't agree with his point he is trying to make and can truly see that there is no question of a doubt that he should have sought out psychiatric help years ago so there could have been a chance to make him conform with the rest of society instead of being that black fly in society's glass of white wine!

Here it is, enjoy!

I have heard that people talk to dead people. I must admit that the dead people thing is one of those things that most people par take in that I don’t understand.  I have left strict instructions that nobody that has not visited me when I was alive is to be allowed to visit me when I’m dead!  The time to spend time and money on someone is when they’re still breathing. Once someone kicks the oxygen habit, I’m done with them.  I’m not visiting, talking or spending money on anyone feeding worms.

Undertakers are some of the biggest cons on the face of the earth! They use people’s hurts and emotions to suck every dime they can muster. Why does someone need a vault to put a casket in? Ok, some states have laws, but those are bogus too!  We have buried people in the ground for centuries without any vaults! Damn it! And who’d a thunk it, there are still people breathing!  The casket is where they really get you. They act as though if you’re not buying the gold handled, velvet lined, air freshened deluxe decay crate, that you don’t care. If there is a bloodsucker, that’s where they’re at!

Then the flowers. Oh My God!! Go spend $50.00 on nice smelling pretty flowers for someone who can’t smell or see them. Man if you did that to a living person somebody would punch you in the mouth for being such an insensitive bastard. But the parade of fools rush in to get their flowers to give to the dead guy?  If you want to throw money away, throw it to me.

I was asked once by my grandmother if I had put flowers on my mother’s grave. I had to be honest. I said Hell NO!  She just don’t appreciate them as much as she use to!

And visiting a grave?!?!  How fucking sick is that??? You want to stand on top of a dead body and pretend to have a conversation? Damn it man….

Spend you time and your money on the living, give respect while one can appreciate it, and get your head out of your ass’s.  Let the dead rest in peace! Leave them the hell alone.

-TCY

Well, there it is.  TCY's distorted take on what should be done when someone passes on.  When I do in fact die, I want a giant party. I want a live rock band, full bar and good food.  I know some people will be sad to see me go, but let it be a celebration that the world can run a little more normal now that I am gone.  After all, I am the one who has released the monster known as The Crankee Yankee into the World Wide Web. 
     So, I know how I feel about what the monster above has stated, but I want to know if he offended anyone, brought up an interesting point to someone or has brought light on the subject to anyone to where they actually agree with the Northern Nut Job.   Leave a comment so I can see if I am the only one who has lost it or if TCY is the one who has lost it...well you have to have it first before you can lose it. 

"If your goals are nothing, then you'll reach them everytime!"

Cranky Day for The Crankee Yankee

Let's start this off with a saying I heard yesterday that I have never heard before:
The Crankee Yankee states, "Women are like children, they should be seen and not heard."
     So with that being said, TCY was in an unusually cranky mood today.  He was getting hated on from both ends and getting screwed from the other end.  Not a good day for TCY.  I would seriously hate to be the person who gets in his way today.  He could possibly unleash the Crankee Hulk on someone and it will not be pretty.  YANKEE SMASH!!!

Another Case of the Monday's

Quote's from The Crankee Yankee -

 "If you were a man, I would hit you so fucking hard!"



"For something cute, she sure is a bitch."